After my question: "What am I doing here"?, I tried to find out. My parents had no religion, but in my early youth I had some 'friends' who introduced me to their churches. I liked the incense in the catholic church, but had no idea what the priests were doing on the pulpit. At the end of the mass we had to stand in line to receive the 'host', 'the body of the Christ'. You were supposed to swallow it at once. Someone else brought me to another church with a vicar, who was shouting 'hell and damnation' through a loudspeaker. Definitely not appealing. I decided to leave the churches alone and searched further. I tried to find answers in psychology, but that covered merely the thoughts and feelings of a person and didn't gratify me.
My father was a Theosophist and often read books from Annie Besant and Charles W. Leadbeater. One day there was a book on his desk that dealt about karma, reincarnation, the masters and how they accepted chelas (pupils) under certain conditions. Immediately the 'permanent atom' started to vibrate as a sign that this was part of my knowledge out of a previous incarnation. The permanent atom is the atom that follows the individual embodiment after embodiment to hold the pattern of the vehicle in his or her next incarnation. Every vehicle has a permanent atom: (in the highest etheric sublevel - the first level. Each plane of consciousness exists out of seven sublevels, the first level is the atomic level), physical, emotional, mental and some higher bodies. So my memory was jogged and I felt at once at home again. I studied as much as I could about these subjects which included books of Alice Bailey, Mabel Collins (Light on the Path). The Voice of the Silence (H. P. Blavatsky) and many others. Slowly I began to remember that I walked this path many lifetimes before as a priest or a teacher and had always been guided by these Mighty Light Beings, the Masters of the ancient wisdom. One day during summer school vacation, something happened. I was about 16 or 17 years old, and was reading: "The Masters of the Far East" by Baird T. Spalding. That night I had a remarkable 'dream'. I was on holy ground and a rainbow bridge manifested before my eyes. I walked upon it and reached a magnificent white Temple. Inside were happy smiling beings in white robes. A certain ceremony was performed and I felt an enormous uplifting power and radiation. When I woke up the next morning I still was enfolded in that 'Light' which lasted the entire day. Later on in my life I was made aware that it was one of the initiations in the "Great White Brotherhood". White has nothing to do with skin color here, but with the purity of radiation.
My father and I became members of the Theosophical Society in our town where we learned the most important lesson: that of service: "the reward of service well done is the opportunity to receive more service!" Eventually I became member of the board in the Netherlands, but only for a very short time because the main work was organizing and that was not 'my thing'. From time to time we had a speaker in our Lodge who had our specific interest. He had a strong radiation and was very enthusiastic. He really kindled the spiritual fire in his audience. He was 'CEO' of an electricity plant in France. After his retirement they had to install three different managing directors in his place. There was no one to be found with his drive. This man was a pivotal person in my life. His name was H. W. Dunnewolt. (1908-1985) My father had a very clear remembrance about him. Maybe it is interesting to narrate it here, because it shows something about the bonding of souls and that is also the reason that people reincarnate in groups. ¾ My father told me that many lifetimes ago humans were not yet able to produce fire and were depending on lightning strikes in trees to have fire, or had to make very dangerous travels to volcanoes to acquire fire. So it was adamant that the fire had to burn all the time. The task to keep the fire burning during the night was a test for the adolescent boys and one time it was my father's turn. The first part of the night went fine, but then his eyelids became heavy. Suddenly he opened them again ¾ nothing had happened ¾ he kept his eyes wide open, but could not prevent to fall asleep. When he opened them again the fire was gone and there was merely a faint glowing of embers. He panicked and run to his uncle and told him what had happened. Immediately his uncle took some dry twigs and grass and began to blow hard. After precious time and several failures the grass caught fire and my father was rescued of the "beating of a lifetime!"
That uncle he recognized in this lifetime as our friend Dunnewolt, who was still rekindling fires during his lifetime, but now in the hearts of the people.
We really wished to see Dunnewolt more than only a few times a year and one day he told us, that he was member of a mixed-freemasonry order and that we might like that too. We happily confirmed and so we were initiated in his Lodge; my father one week before me. Now we could see him every fortnight.
Once I had a dream: (my divine Presence often speaks to me through symbolic dreams) I stood at the back of our house and saw the sky divided into two parts — brilliant white and pitch dark. I felt myself rising from the ground up into the sky, zigzagging on the edge between the dark and the light sky. The meaning became obvious later in my life when I had to withstand very dark and malicious energies and came in contact with the mighty powers of the Sacred Fire (Power, Healing, Transformation, Faith, Illumination, to mention a few aspects). Later the dream changed. I was back on the ground and noticed the entrance of a pathway that went straight up a mountain. The entrance was blocked by two dinosaurs. Slowly they moved in opposite directions and I could enter the path. Halfway up a man stood in the way who prevented me passage. In his belt he had a knife. I took the knife and stabbed him, so I could continue my way up. He just vanished. Later there were no longer shrubs or grasses and the way became steep with many stones and pebbles which sometimes made me nearly slip. Then I woke up. The two dinosaurs turned out to be my job and my marriage. The pathway up is the path up the mountain of attainment. Your spiritual strivings and tests. The man with the dagger halfway up is your ego which you have to conquer and submit to the divine Will. The stones and pebbles are your obvious and more subtle tests when you reach the higher places of the mountain when your view becomes more sharp and your actions have more impact on the mass-consciousness. Just like with the growth and maturing of your body when your responsibility grows accordingly.